for most of my life, i was the person who stayed regulated so everyone else could fall apart.

not because i was asked to. because i learned early that the room only had so much space. and most of the time, none of it was for me.

i got very good at reading people. i got very good at making sure everything was fine. and i got very good at not saying the thing, feeling the thing, or needing the thing (in public, at least).

in private, i was asking the same question on a loop: why am i like this.

not in a self-critical way. genuinely. why this pattern. why this response. why does this specific situation always get me, no matter how much work i've done.

therapy helped. it really did. but there was always something it couldn't quite name.

then a woman named donna showed me my 12th house stellium, the hidden house, the house of self-undoing the one that governs everything you don't show. and something landed that had never landed before.

my sun lives in the 12th house. the house of what's hidden. i was built in the dark room, which means i know exactly how to find you in yours.

donna was the first person to read it back to me. i haven't stopped translating since. 300+ charts later, it's never just symbols. it's the part you've never said out loud.

it's never just symbols. it's the part you've never said out loud.

and once you have the words, you stop swimming against the current.

lovingly, adri 🌊

your turn.